Sometime back a movie by the name Traffic Signal by Madhur Bhandarkar happened to catch my interest. Reason being I feel very deeply about traffic signals. Though I never got around to actually watching the said movie , from what I heard the movie for the most part was a critical and commercial failure. Clearly Mr Bhandarkar hadn’t done his research well. Choosing to base his movie around traffic signals in Mumbai with an assortment of equally mundane characters like a policeman , a beggar , a hooker and whatever else I may have missed out on was a costly mistake. And clearly the director had failed to ever notice the traffic signals of my city Pune.

Anyway let me just give you a brief rundown of why exactly Pune would have been the optimal location for the original movie or a sequel if it ever gets made. Now as we all know a successful popcorn movie has all the requisite elements of drama , emotion , action , mystery and a radical twist if need be. How any traffic signal in Pune would successfully encapsulate all these elements let me elaborate.

Drama: If it just so happens that a poor unfortunate soul who just arrived from another city or a completely ignorant fool like me , who still believes what his teacher told him back when he was in school about what each colour of the signal indicated, happens to remain stationery at the signal when it is red for a moment too long  that person is in for a rude shock. He would be assaulted by the near simultaneous honking , of every vehicle being held up behind him. If the sheer force of the resulting cacophony refuses to budge him , and yet he remains unrepentant of his folly , everyone will eventually pass around him , but while doing so will direct towards him a look of such scorn so as to weaken the nerves even the most foolish of them.  If that were not enough drama , then there is the kind that occurs between two residents of the same city. If the usually undisturbed flow of traffic at a junction is disturbed by the rare incident in which 2 people happened to brush each other , each launches into a verbal assault for all of 5 seconds , with an intensity to rival any Oscar winner , irrespective of the fact that both people maybe out of earshot. What is most remarkable is that they launch abuses in each other’s direction , while their vehicles continue to move in an entirely different direction and almost manage to take down 2 -3 vehicles on the way. A remarkable amalgam of drama , emotion and action rarely ever seen.

Mystery : Anyone new to the city or an ignorant fool (me who has been living in the city for 15 years now)will never be able to figure out according to what cryptic rules the traffic movement and the signals are actually related and nor will any audience (besides puneites) watching the movie. Its one of those movie mysteries that may always remain a mystery even when the movie is over.  Another slighter mystery is why people who do end up waiting for that fraction of a second at the signal look at every signal besides the one which is meant for them. Maybe they are all trying to get a leg up on the competition. (will be detailed later).

Action: All of Pune’s vehicle owners were action movie stars in their previous lives. Ample proof of this can be seen at every traffic junction . Though too a faraway observer it may appear like chaos the careful precision with which all vehicles seem to cross the junction within hair’s breath of each other and still emerge unscathed (except on the rare occasion) is a magnificent sight. The feat is even more astounding considering that none of the people driving their vehicles have ever rehearsed the scene before.

Twist: Ahh a twist how redeeming a movie feels when it has an intelligent twist. The twist I suggest ofcourse is purely a by product of my wacky imagination and hence though it may not seem so intelligent its a twist nonetheless. Here’s the deal. As it turns out the reason we see rampant breaking of signals and general chaos at the signal is that everyone one of the vehicle drivers is engaged in some secret free for all drag race that covers the entire gamut of Pune’s roads. However unlike The Fast and The Furious style drag racing with only souped up cars in the fray, here we have a wide assortment of vehicles racing, from the mopeds , motorcycles, rickshaws , cars , trucks and buses right upto the slowest of them like bicycles and bullock carts ; and on the rare occasion elephants and camels may also join in.

Ofourse where exactly the races end and what’s the prize for it would not be revealed in this movie. All that is reserved for the inevitable sequel……